The Lost Art Of Relationship (How To Not End Up Single As An Entrepreneur)
Picture this.
You are an entrepreneur.
You have big goals. Unimaginable dreams.
Dreams so big that your friends and family don’t understand the level of impact you are attempting to make in the world.
The amount of money you desire… I mean large sums of money. They wouldn’t understand right?
“Why can’t you just turn work off” they ask… as if it’s that simple.
Leaving you feeling misunderstood and frustrated.
“They just don’t get it. If only they knew what I was going through”.
So, you continue to spend the majority of your waking hours thinking about all of the ways that you can continue to move your business forward.
You listen to podcasts in the car, on a run, or at the gym. You fill your spare time reading books, watching youtube videos, creating new content ideas… and not to mention this is all outside of the typical work day that comes with being an entrepreneur.
After a long day of work - you are at home and feeling drained from the day.
Your romantic partner enters the room and wants to spend time with you. Maybe they ask to go for a walk, make dinner together, play a board game, or even initiate intimacy because it’s been weeks since the last time you were romantic together.
Is that really a big ask? For your partner to ask for quality time together?
No.
But because you aren’t taking care of yourself - you get upset anyways.
You make excuses.
“Babe, I'm so tired tonight. It’s been a long day.”
But here lies the problem, it’s a long day every day…
and because you spend 110% of your time and energy feeding your addiction to work. You lack boundaries and are creating disconnect in your relationship.
Not only is your relationship falling apart - but your partner is hurting.
Their heart aches to be in connection with you. They love you. They want your attention and presence. They want to build a life with you.
But your head is so high up in the clouds that you don’t even have the energy to handle it.
The Impact
Phew. Sound relatable?
Entrepreneurs experience the highest divorce rate out of any other group - sitting at 43-48% of marriages with an entrepreneur end in divorce.
Are we really surprised though?
Let’s zoom out.
Who wants to be in a 3 way relationship with your partner and their job?
I mean let that sink in before we move on. 43-48% end in divorce.
What are we doing? 7 start ups and 7 spouses later?
Is that really the path we are walking?
I’m here to tell you. There is a different path. I’m about to walk you through a different framework that I used to get my relationship back on track.
The New Path of Connection
As an entrepreneur myself, I decided that I no longer wanted to let my job dictate the quality of my life.
I realized that I wasn’t able to have my cake and eat it too.
I decided to start prioritizing my health & relationship first.
So… how did I do that?
Simple. Boundaries. I set new rules that I was determined to live by.
One of the best ways that I was able to make these changes in my life was by scheduling everything.
Now I know that might sound weird to you… scheduling time for my relationship? Intimacy at 8pm on Thursdays?
Hear me out.
Everything else that is important to us in life - we schedule it. Meetings, appointments, workouts, yoga classes.
So why can’t we apply this to relationships?
Well I started doing it and within a short period of time, things started to shift.
Next thing you know we were having relationship check ins, date nights, intimacy and breath work sessions together, more walks together, playing cards and board games…. We felt like we were dating all over again.
We are the closest we have ever been. All because of my ability to set boundaries and make clear decisions.
Here Are 5 Ways To Action This Into Your Life Today
Take responsibility for the dynamic you have created. Own it. Accept it. And commit to a different way forward. We can’t make changes from a place of denial.
Define what you can reasonably commit to with your partner and communicate it clearly. Can you commit to a weekly check in, monthly date night, and regular evening walks? Great. Communicate it and follow through.
Schedule It. If you could remember to do it on the fly, you would have done it by now. This won’t be forever - but in the meantime, schedule it and show up.
Take care of your health. Now that you are showing up regularly, you will want to show up with energy and vitality. Nobody wants a date night with a half baked sleepy partner.
Reflect. Adjust. Repeat. Understand that this takes time and it will not be perfect at first. Nor should it be… it’s about moving towards a new way of being.
I hope this post inspired you to take action and work towards creating a beautiful relationship while you build your dream business.
Much Love,
Ian
